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*6:00 am wake-up, this unholy hour was chosen as a good faith attempt at getting back on the Active April horse after a nasty cold (from which I was still sniffling throughout this China day) knocked me off. There is a trail that winds up the hills behind our school that offers a little bit of fresh air and solitude in the midst of the city. I had begun running up this trail in the mornings, thrilled with the return to nature and the Father that these morning offered. The day before this China Day, I had been stopped on the trail briefly by a drive by hello-er who just couldn't believe his good luck at an early morning foreigner citing. No problem - a quick hello and I continued on. But on this particular China Day I found that same man sitting on a rock along the trail with an anxious grin on his face. (WARNING - I recognize that grin...that is the grin of death) He jumped in front of me and launched into a 15 minute question-answer session which ended with his intent for our relationship...I'll sum up: I can barely speak English, you run here every morning, each night I will spend two hours preparing my oral English, each morning I will sit here on this rock and wait for you to come, we will have entertaining conversation for me and horrifically-mind-numbing conversation for you, my oral English will improve. Grrrrrr...such is China...
*My China Day moved on from there to my 8 am Freshman English Majors Class, upon which I entered to find 3 imposters. Senior Non-English Majors whom I had never met, who planned to sit in my class, glean wisdom from me, distract my freshman students, attend all of the outside events intended for my students, send me emails, call my cell phone, and improve their oral English. To which I replied...Bu Dui! Such is China...
*By 10 am I stumbled home from class to fall into my bed, exhausted from the 4 hour China Day I had had thus far. I was just about to drift away when I heard a knock at the door. Prepared to landblast whoever was on the other side, I opened the door to look directly into the eyes of the most adorable random puppy I had ever seen! I had been hit with a random Puppy drop off - a student of mine had a friend who needed a favor.
Watch her illegal dormitory puppy - heck yes I will! A puppy was just what I needed to brighten my China Day! I fell in love instantly and began to act like a total moron, gurgling I shall call him Gremlin and he shall be mine and he shall be my Gremlin. I mean, he was wearing a sweater for Pete's Sake! His real name is Xiao Bao , which means small cherished thing. Of course...Such is China... *After they pried Gremlin from my
clinging hands, I had a weekly lunch appointment with some former students of mine who I swear to you couldn't stand me at the time of my teaching, but now seem to relish any time we have together. We talked the big three over friend rice: Olympics, Movies and Examinations. (Not the big three I would choose...but Such is China...) *Priscilla and I made our way to Chicken Strip Market after lunch, named for their to-die-for American-wanna-be dipped slices of ji. The shopping trip was undertaken on a roll mission, but turned into an all out adventure. As a friend of mine says, "Never say I can't get it in China, only that you haven't found it yet". Wise words, as we came upon (ta da!) hazelnut coffee creamer. That's right people, that is cause for celebration. Amid the overwhelming smell of freshly slaughtered meat and pig faces, there can be found shining western lights...such is China...
*Still high on Gremlin and Coffeemate, Priscilla and I went to hail a taxi back with our goodies. We had to cross the street, and at this point I have to preface the story with two points of information. 1) Jaywalking is not only legal in China, but expected, if not required. If one is going to cross the street, we will weave our way through multiple lanes of traffic amidst cars driving in no possible pattern of prediction. "No Hesitation" is our motto! This motto inevitably leads to us standing in the middle of the street like a Frogger scenario, waiting for our next small break. 2) The tune of Shiyan is an ominous sound - an ice cream truck jingle that does speak of creamy delights, but of a truck that spews China water from its tail end. The street cleaner...you can see where this is going. So this moment finds Priscilla and I standing in the middle of a multi-lane street, toting bulging bags of groceries, with that music floating to our ears. We turned our head to see the street cleaner of doom approaching. Picture: 4 lanes. Street sweeper driving down Lane 1, Lane 2 empty, Priscilla and I between Lanes 2 & 3 on the line, Lines 3 & 4 filled with cars. There is no going backwards, there is definitely no going forwards! We analyze the situation, and see that if we just stay where we are the water will miss us by inches. Flooded with relief, we wait it out. Suddenly, the street cleaner driver spots foreigners dead ahead, and in his delight began to CHANGE LANES to get a closer look! He got a front row seat, we and our groceries got a China water shower! It was Christmas for the Chinese gleefully taking in our plight and Tomb Sweeping Day for us. GRRRRR...Such is China...
*Soaked and bitter, I headed to English Corner - the bane of every English teacher's existence. Its a time when we stand in a room full of people who want to ogle the foreigner and have the opportunity to pepper us with questions for an hour or two. Highlights include the umpteenth time you are asked if you know how to use chopsticks (no, I just stare at my food), can speak Chinese (no, its impossible for foreigners to use due to our lower IQ level), what your impression of China is (big, communist), and if you have a boyfriend (no, am hideous to all members of the opposite sex). I usually don't often mind it, but it was a China Day. But China Day's wait for no man, and so 8 pm at night found me standing in the cold next to Communist Joe defending my right to learn Spanish in high school instead of Mandarin. Such is China...
*I crawled home, longing to wash the China day off my body and mind in a hot shower. Another preface: Hot water is a precious commodity here, one we receive at 7:30 pm at night to anywhere from 9:30 to 10:30...you can see where this is going. Soaped up, one shaven leg, spirits beginning to lift...hot water shut off...shivering in the cold... Such is China's - Six, make that Seven
China Day...check...
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