An Honest Petition

I am experiencing 8 different flavors of writer's block right now, so my apologies to all of you. The most frustrating thing about blogging from this side (or color I guess I should say!) of the world is the restrictions on pouring out what your heart really needs to say. I have a point to get across, a spirit to express, and a list of about 100 words I should never use. So I am counting on my poor ability to express a subtext, and your impress power to read between the consonants.
First, I need to answer the probing questions of your inquiring minds. I have informed the inner circle, but now its time to alert the masses. I will be returning to Shiyan for the 2008-2009 school year. I made that decision a few weeks ago, but was hesitant to put it out there too soon. There were grandparents and best friends to console! In all honesty, it was not too hard of a decision for me to make. I am convinced that G-d's purpose for us is to work for the r-d-mpt--n of His people. While its true that we can and should do that anywhere, He has asked me to work for the r-d-mpt--n of these people here and now. We are in the midst of a fierce battle and while it will in no way affect the outcome of the war, this battle ground must be defended, these soldiers are too precious. (I realize you are reeling in allegories, but its a useful deception tool) Angelyn will be returning to this school as well, and we are on our knees, petitioning you and the Father for your sp-r-t--l support throughout the next year.
Which brings me to my next point, the one on which I want to dwell (and the reason many of you have been tagged in this note). If being on our knees doesn't give you enough of a mental picture of our stance...please, imagine us face down, prostrate before our needs. We have a need here in Shiyan, specifically at Qi Yuan, that must to be met. We NEED strong male leadership for our family. Our family is struggling - young Chinese men with no example of how to be a man of G-d, and young Chinese women with no knowledge of the blessing men can be in the ch-rch. This is bigger than gender roles, bigger than Sunday morning doctrinal requirements, and much bigger than a romantic breeding ground within the fold. Its the intention of the Father to have men and women working together to transform His kingdom, and its the lack of that ideal combination that is poisonous to our family and work.
This is by no means a problem exclusively in Shiyan; around the world His family is composed and often led predominantly women. This is a statement that would have shocked me living in the states, though I think the evidence of it is overwhelming there as well. But it is an undeniable truth in the fields around the world. Women are responding to the call, and joining families with incredibly skewed ratios. Our family is full of powerful women who have a hearts of service, but their hearts are tired from carrying the burden alone. They are crying out to be led by the Husbands of the ch-rch - to truly be the Brides of Chr-st that they were meant to be. Its a beautiful picture that they are missing...that Angelyn and I are missing as well.
I was told recently that the expectations I ask men in the ch-rch to meet are unreachable, and unfair. Thinking about that, I didn't feel the shame I think I was intended to (that, oh you little man-eater, whittling away at the measuring stick of a man until he's left sniveling in a corner shame), but anger and sadness. The only expectation I have for men in the ch-rch is for the Father and His m-ss--n to be their number one priority, and to live that out each day. How utterly sad that the bar has been lowered so much in our community of f--th that one would consider that standard to be ludicrous. Are they so content in their complacency? How angry I became, thinking of the young men in our family looking at THAT as their standard and model. And how enraged I become at the insinuation that I am in the wrong for asking a man, any man, to stand up and meet not MY expectations, but his G-d's. I will never stop striving to be the woman that He has asked me to be, and I can't imagine getting permission from anyone to defend my acceptance of myself at less than that.
So I am laying our cards on the table, asking you to look within yourself. We need men with a heart for discipleship, who are on FIRE for the L-rd and long to spend each day fulfilling His m-ss-n for the world. We need couples who can take advantage of the unique opportunity that a partner in this field is, who desire to mirror the relationship of the Father to his ch-rch. China needs this, Shiyan needs this, our family needs this...I need it too. I am asking you to get on your knees for us today, and in the days ahead. Please lift up this incredible need to the Father. If someone pops into your head while you are reading this, forward it on to them immediately. If you feel something stirring inside of you, ask Him if He is calling you to be the one to fill this need. If you don't know what else to pr-y for, Angelyn and I could really use some strength. We are getting tired and discouraged, Satan's demons are using our exhaustion and other extremely powerful weapons.
I know I have gone on and on; I promise I am almost finished. I just wanted to say, that I was told not to frighten any interested parties away by expressing some of our needs to them. Apparently, it could be overwhelming to ask someone to live up to a G-dly standard in the midst of the work. The only response I have is no, ridiculous. We were not given a spirit of timidity, but HIS spirit. One of boldness and ferocity. If you answer this petition, you have been prayed over and longed for - its true that you will face vicious battles every day, but you will not be fighting alone. However, if you are not aflame with the fire of G-d, if you are not prepared to pour your heart out, if you are not willing to step onto the battlefield - then this is not the place for you. We are looking, begging and pleading...but we will continue to fight alone before we welcome more complacency.
Thank you all for your continued support. I feel the power of your pr-y-rs every day, and I am so grateful for them on the many days where my own are so small.