Master and Commander of Small Talk

As I was walking home last night from a particularly enjoyable dinner with one of my freshman students, Marilyn, I was struck with a thought - the most unfortunate and unenchanting aspect of my personality has begun to melt away. Yes, the girl who once viewed unnecessary conversations as just that, unnecessary, has become the master and commander of small talk.
To analyze myself, I think my aversion to small talk grew out of my insecurity. I almost never had conversations with acquaintances that did not serve some purpose, and that was probably due to the fact that somewhere in my self-conscience I believed my presence to be undesirable to them less it aided their needs in some way. Perhaps if I came to them with a reason for my blabbering, it was less offensive and gave them cause to welcome me! I was a hit-and-run communication assailant. I kept phone calls under 3 minutes, ending them as soon as the 2 second pause became unbearable. I wrote emails when I could have spoken face-to-face. I invented excuses for absences when there were none. I was an individualist's darling. As exhausting and unfulfilling as that was, I rarely knew how to behave otherwise!
Then yesterday...break through! China has cured me. I am now the Supreme Pontiff of unnecessary communication. I don't even know how it happened, I just realized that the Chinese have created this monster who can have the same mindless conversation a dozen times and feign the same level of interest in each one. I hardly recognize myself. I can now sit on my couch and talk to a student for an hour and accomplish absolutely nothing. We will just run through the cycle of America-class-family-America-friends-movies-America-Chinese food-QQ-America until we reach then end, then run through it again. I would have found this impossible in the past, now I find it merely mind-numbing! I am both terrified at this realization, and reveling in it.
The run-ins on the street are glorious as well. In the past, a quiet "hey" and wave to each passerby got me through the day - but no more! Now each run in has a routine to follow as well.
Let me give you a glimpse into an Zhongguoren - Waiguoren conversation:
Z: Oh Hello
W: Hey, how are you?
Z: Fine thanks, and you?
W: I'm good!
Z: Where are you going?
W: I am going to eat.
Z: OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH
W: What about you?
Z: Oh yes, I am so busy. I have much class today
W: How is your class?
Z: Very boring!
W: Like my class?
Z: Oh no, your class is so interesting! I like your smile very much
W: Oh thank you! So...
Z: I have something important to do.
W: Oh, okay. I'll see you later!
Z: See you later. Buh-bye!

So for all of you at home, be prepared. I am now fully able to sit in front of you with a big grin on my face for hours on end...talking.